And We Could Live Like This Forever
by ausllydawmoon
Summary: He hates her, but not really. In fact, he kind of loves her. Auslly One-Shot.


They hate each other. He doesn't like her, and she doesn't like him. That's the way it is. That's the way it's _always_ been. That's the way it always _will_ be.

Except that he _likes_ her. He's liked her for as long as he's hated her. It sucks, really, and it confuses him on an hourly basis, but he's pretty used to it. He'd like to think he's also used to the knowledge that she hates him, feels nothing _but_ hate for him, but in reality, it _hurts_.

To make matters worse, they're in the same friend group. It's odd, he knows, but it works. His best friend and her best friend are friends, and he's friends with her best friend while she's friends with his best friend. It's a bit confusing, but they're all used to it.

He likes to pretend that he has his feelings under control. And other than the frequent short bursts of confusion that flash through his mind, he does a pretty good job of it. Until he's alone with his thoughts. Then, his mind starts whirling, revolving around her. He likes her, yes. He knows he does. He won't deny it. He's almost certain Trish and Dez know it too. Maybe even _she_ knows it. But if they do, they act like they don't, and pretend to buy his charade of hating her.

Except that a part of him really _does_ dislike her. She can be irritating and obnoxious and boring and about a million other things. But then the part of him that _likes_ her finds everything he could possibly _dislike_ endearing and adorable.

So yeah, he doesn't like being alone with his thoughts very often.

Oh, and the best part of his situation is that she has a boyfriend. Just the cherry on top of the cake, isn't it? Her boyfriend doesn't like him, as Austin is supposed to hate her, but he doesn't stop them from hanging out. At least he has that.

He also has the unspoken trust between the two of them. They may hate each other (her more than him, of course) but he knows that she's _there_ for him, possibly even more than Dez. And he knows that _she_ knows he's there for her.

* * *

The four of them are hanging out at Ally's house because she texted them saying she wanted an excuse to eat candy and popcorn. He tries to push back the mental sigh of adoration because of how adorable she is.

"Trish, he _obviously_ likes you! You should give him a chance!" Ally says, tossing an M&M at her from the bowl on the coffee table.

"I don't like giving people chances," Trish replies, tossing one back. "I don't like him. Can't you respect that?"

"No. I can't."

"Why not, Ally? What if…I dunno, Austin liked you?" Trish suggests, gesturing in his direction. He's used to this being brought up, as it's the worst hypothetical situation Ally could be in (ouch), so he doesn't really react to it.

"That's different. You just don't _like_ this kid. Meanwhile, I _hate_ Austin."

Ouch.

"Love you too, snookums," he says, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Well, do you want me to lie?" she asks him.

"No, I feel that if we don't have honesty, this relationship is worth nothing," Austin replies.

"Good."

"Anyway," Dez says, popping a marshmallow in his mouth, "are we gonna do something _other_ than talk about boys? I have nothing against it, but I am bored out of my mind. I'd almost rather watch Austin and Ally fight to the death."

"I'd win that," Austin announces.

"In your dreams, Moon," Ally replies.

"Are you kidding me?! You're, like, ninety pounds."

"And you're, like, weak."

"Oh, you wanna go, Dawson?"

"Maybe I do."

"Oh no," Dez says, face palming.

"Will you guys shut up before the sexual tension suffocates me?!" Trish exclaims before either of them can say anything more.

Austin crosses his arms and slumps back against the couch cushion, rolling his eyes. Ally sighs and crosses her arms too, her back slightly touching Austin's legs. He moves so he's sitting cross-legged on the couch and he reaches over Ally to grab a handful of popcorn.

"So Austin, where are we going for your birthday next week?" Dez asks, trying to change the subject. "Please don't say we're going for pancakes again."

"We're going for pancakes again," Austin says.

"Why?" Trish whines.

"Because I like them," he replies.

"I hate them," Ally says.

"I hate _you_ ," he tells her.

"Good."

"Good."

* * *

He's walking home, trailing behind her and her boyfriend. Usually they walk home together, as they live about a block away, but now that she's dating _him_ Austin doesn't get that luxury much anymore.

He is far from happy about it.

Those short walks home from school used to be the only chance he got to be alone with her. And while they bicker the whole way home most of the time and she gets on his nerves like no one else does, he definitely enjoys it. Not to mention those few times when they _didn't_ argue, when they temporarily forgot that they didn't like each other and talked like _friends_.

But now he doesn't get any of that anymore. And that really, really sucks.

He focuses on kicking a pebble while he listens to her laughing at something the idiot says. He tries to remind himself that he hates this girl, but lately the part of him that likes her has been overriding the part that hates her.

"Bye, Austin," she calls back to him when she and the boyfriend stop at her house.

"Later, loser," he replies halfheartedly. He tries not to be too happy that she decided to pay enough attention to him to say goodbye.

He glances at them as he walks past them. She has her arms wrapped around his torso, and she's grinning up at him like he's the greatest thing the world has to offer.

Austin would be lying if he said he didn't wish that she'd look at _him_ that way.

But her boyfriend is looking at _her_ like she's just another person. He looks happy, but he doesn't seem to realize how special she is. Austin hurries past them.

If he was the boyfriend, he'd be looking at her like she was his everything.

He likes to think he isn't in denial. He's accepted his feelings for her. But in reality, he knows he's still denying _what_ he feels for her. It goes deeper than he'd prefer to admit.

* * *

"Why are we going to Dawson's?" Austin asks Dez from the passenger seat of his car.

"Trish texted me and told me we need to be there. Urgent."

"I was in the middle of a movie."

"Don't you care about Ally?"

"No. I hate her."

"Dude, I'm your best friend. Don't try to pull that crap on me."

Austin purses his lips, staring out the car window. "I'll try to pull that crap on you all I want. And if you're a good friend you'll pretend to believe it."

"You're ridiculous. Just admit to yourself that you like her."

"I have admitted it to myself, Dez. Many times. Doesn't mean I'd like to admit it to other people."

"She's gonna find out eventually. Trish knows, too."

"I figured."

"Dude, she has a boyfriend."

"I'm aware of that."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't care. I'm fine."

"Whatever."

Dez pulls up at Ally's house and they get out of the car. They let themselves inside and walk down the hall to Ally's room, where Dez claims Trish told him they were.

Sure enough, the girls are in there. Ally is sitting on her bed, red-faced and tear-stained, and Trish is sitting next to her, rubbing her back. The Latina looks up at the boys sadly.

"She and _him_ broke up," she says quietly.

"He freaking cheated on me with Sarah White!" Ally exclaims, sounding angry and hurt and frustrated.

Austin's jaw clenches. That boy got the privilege to date Ally Dawson and he had the nerve to _cheat_ on her?

He walks over to sit by Ally to try to distract himself from his anger. Dez sits in between them, but Austin doesn't really mind. Dez is better at comforting than he is, anyway.

"I'm sorry, Ally," Dez says. "He doesn't deserve you. You're too good for him. You deserve a guy who'll love you and _only_ you. You deserve a guy who gives you all his attention, and who _wants_ to be with you."

"Apparently I'm not gonna get that," Ally whispers, looking at her lap.

Both Dez and Trish give Austin pointed looks and he clenches his jaw and shakes his head. They harden their stares, but he stands firm in his silent argument.

"Ally, maybe you will. Maybe there's someone out there who really does love you, who _only_ wants you," Trish tells her.

"Doubt it."

Cue the pointed looks again. Austin glares back at them, but then he sighs.

"C'mon, Dawson. We all knew he was a jerk. You had to have seen this coming."

She looks up at him, looking even more hurt than before. Trish and Dez glare at him.

"I-I'm gonna go make tea," she says, getting up to walk out of the room. The three of them let her, knowing that she must want to be alone for a few minutes after the not-so-comforting comment courtesy of Austin.

When the door shuts behind her, Austin turns on his other two friends.

"If either of you says _anything_ to her about you-know-what, I'll-"

"You'll what?" Trish interrupts. "You're all talk, Austin. I could tell her right now and you wouldn't do anything except yell at me."

Austin sighs. "Please don't say anything."

"Why not? She doesn't think anyone out there could truly love her, Austin. If she knows you do…She might feel better," Dez tries.

"First of all, I don't love her."

"Bullcrap," Trish scoffs.

"Secondly," Austin continues, ignoring Trish's comment, "there are other ways to make her feel better. If she knows I like her, that opens up a whole new world of possibilities for her to make my life miserable! And third-this one may be the most shocking to you-she _hates_ me!"

"Maybe she wouldn't if she knew you loved her!" Dez exclaims.

"I don't love her!"

"You're the only one who still believes that."

"Well-"

" _Guys_!" Trish interrupts. Both boys snap their heads in her direction. "Look, it isn't our place to tell Ally Austin likes her. He doesn't _have_ to tell her."

"Thank you," Austin says.

"But he _should_ tell her," she adds.

Austin groans and falls back on Ally's bed, staring at the ceiling.

Ally decides to walk back in the room at that moment, carrying her cup of tea. She sits back down in between Trish and Dez, and the two of them immediately turn their attention to her.

"How you feeling, honey?" Trish asks the brunette.

"Like I was hit by a bus," she replies, taking a sip of her tea. "Like he took my heart and flushed it down the toilet."

"I'm sorry, Ally," Trish tells her. "You'll feel better soon. I know it."

"I hope so," the heartbroken girl says sadly. "I just don't understand what I did wrong. Was I not good enough?"

"You were _too_ good," Dez says.

"Then why'd he cheat on me?"

"Because he's a jerk who doesn't know a good thing when he's got it," Austin says, sitting up. "Because all he wanted was sex and you wouldn't give it to him. Because he's just an all-around terrible person that you probably shouldn't have gotten caught up with in the first place. Dez is right. You were too good for him. He wants girls on his level, girls who'll give him whatever he wants whenever he wants it, girls who don't expect anything from him. You wanted a real boyfriend and a real relationship, and that's not what he was looking for, Dawson." He shrugs, and Ally looks at him. So do Trish and Dez.

"He isn't worth all this," he continues, gesturing to Ally's tearstained face and messy hair and heartbroken voice. "Honestly, what part of you ever thought someone like him deserved someone like you? He should've given you the world. He didn't even give you a grain of sand. You being heartbroken over him is letting him win. Do you want him to win?"

Ally sniffles and shakes her head.

"Then I suggest you hold your head high and smile because he's out of your life. You make him regret cheating on you, but if he comes crawling back, don't give him the time of day. You're better than him. Act like it."

For a while, no one says anything. Trish and Dez are staring at him in shock, while she looks slightly surprised but mostly grateful for his words. She nods slowly, and Trish and Dez snap out of their trances.

"You gonna be okay?" Trish asks her.

"Yeah," she replies, nodding. "Yeah. I will be."

"Good. I gotta get to work. Call if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, Trish."

"Of course. See you later." The Latina waves and walks out.

"Yeah, we gotta head out, too. I have to go buy new suspenders and I'm his ride," Dez says.

"Okay," Ally says. "Thanks for coming, guys."

"Anytime, Ally," Dez says. He walks out, and Austin starts to follow.

But then Ally gets up and wraps her arms around his waist. He looks down at her in surprise, but then he relaxes and wraps his arms around her too, rubbing her back.

"Thank you," she whispers.

"You're welcome," he whispers back.

"Do you think there's someone out there who'll _really_ love me? Be honest. I'm asking you because I know you'll tell me the truth," she says quietly.

He tightens his grip around her. "Yeah. I do."

"Okay," she replies, even quieter than before.

Then she pulls away from him, he nods at her, and he leaves.

* * *

They're all eating lunch together at school on Monday. Trish invites the three of them to get ice cream after school because why not.

"I can't," Austin says. "Detention."

"What'd you do this time?" Dez asks.

Austin holds up his right hand, which has bandages on it. "I beat the crap out of the jerk who cheated on Dawson." His three friends look at him in shock. "What? It isn't like any of you were gonna do it. Besides, everyone knows I'm the only one allowed to be a jerk to her. And even if I wasn't, any guy who's low enough to cheat on a girl deserves to have the crap beat out of him."

"True," Trish says.

"Thank you," Ally tells him.

"Yeah," he replies.

Trish and Dez give him knowing looks, and he shrugs at them. This doesn't bring him any closer to telling Ally his little secret.

"So, Ally, got your eyes on anyone else?" Trish asks.

She shakes her head. "No. I'm kinda done with dating for a while."

"But what if there's a guy who's completely in love with you and dying to tell you?"

"Then he can tell me. But that doesn't mean I'll believe him."

"What if it was someone, like, unexpected?" Dez adds. "Like Austin or something?"

"If it was Austin, I'd laugh and ask you why you thought I'd buy it," Ally says.

Austin gives Trish and Dez a look. They don't argue.

* * *

A few weeks later, Austin and Ally are walking home from school together, just like they used to. Austin likes it.

"I'm so excited to graduate," Ally says, balancing on the curb as she walks.

Austin nods. "Me, too. No more school."

"Yeah. No more drama. But then the four of us will be going to different colleges."

"True. But I'm sure we'll keep in touch."

"I hope so," she agrees.

"We will," Austin says with a nod.

"Good. Hey, Austin?"

"Yeah, Dawson?"

"All that stuff you said about how I deserve the world…did you mean it?"

"Of course I did."

"Trish and Dez have been acting strange lately. They keep talking about you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. They're always making up hypothetical situations where you love me."

"I've noticed."

"A-and at first I brushed it off because they were only joking around. They know that we hate each other and that's just the way it is, but then they kept doing it. And you said all those things and beat up my ex for cheating on me and I see the way you look at me and…and it doesn't seem so crazy anymore."

Austin doesn't say anything. He shoves his hands in his pockets and stares straight ahead, squinting in the sunlight.

"You aren't denying anything."

"I know."

"So it's true? You love me?"

He nods, still not looking at her.

"Since when?"

He chuckles a bit and shakes his head. "Since the day I freakin' met you, Dawson."

"Wow," she says quietly.

He doesn't say anything else, and neither does she.

* * *

Ever since the truth came out about Austin loving Ally, the two of them have come to a bit of a truce. They don't bicker as much, and they might even be considered actual friends.

Trish and Dez have noticed.

"So what's the deal with you two?" Trish asks when they're at their house for a movie night. "You haven't argued or anything in forever. And you're sitting next to each other without being disgusted."

"She knows," Austin replies.

"She knows what?" Dez asks. Then realization sets in. "Oh."

Both he and Trish smirk.

"No," Ally says before anyone can say anything. "We're not dating. I don't have feelings for him."

Dez and Trish look at Austin.

"What?"

"She just said she doesn't like you," Dez says. "That's gotta hurt."

"Chill. I'm fine. I already know she doesn't like me."

Dez shrugs and gets up to go make popcorn while Trish walks off to find a movie, leaving Austin and Ally alone.

"So, you _are_ fine?" she asks him.

He rolls his eyes. " _Yes_. You seem to forget that we've hated each other for years. I lived with that perfectly fine."

"So you secretly loved me that whole time?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"Mmhm."

She leans up and kisses his cheek. He raises his eyebrows and looks down at her.

"What was that for?"

"Being there. Loving me. Everything."

He chuckles a bit and kisses her nose. She smiles at him.

"What was _that_ for?"

"Being there. Being cool with me loving you. Everything."

Trish and Dez come back, and they both sit on the floor in front of Austin and Ally. Trish starts the movie, and they focus on watching it.

That's why Trish and Dez don't notice Austin's arm finding its way around Ally's shoulders. They don't notice her leaning into him, resting her head on his shoulder. They don't notice him kiss her head before resting his head on top of it, and they don't notice the easy smile that makes its way onto his face.

It'd be perfectly fine with him if he never had to leave.

* * *

 **I started this one a while ago and decided to finish it. hope you liked it :)**


End file.
